Win-Win

If you are successful,

remember that somewhere,

sometime, someone gave you

a lift or an idea that

started you in the right direction.

Remember, also,

that you are indebted to life until you help

some less fortunate person,

just as you were helped.

Control What You Can Control

Attending a luncheon today, I heard a speaker talk about "feeling out of control" in this economy. It made me ponder what one can actually control, if anything. Turns out, there are quite a few things ... and doing them just might make you feel better, right about the same time they help you to become more happy and successful.

1. You can control your psychology. You become what you think about all day long. That makes those six inches between your ears the most important real estate you own. It's not what happens, it's how you respond (rather than react). Spend a few moments in silence first thing in the morning, followed by a few moments of "putting some good stuff in." You can go here or here to find good stuff to read or listen to. I also recommend Success Magazine and the current publisher Darren Hardy's book, The Compound Effect. That time will set the tone for the rest of the day and help you to feel unstoppable.
2. You can control what you do. You can spend time feeling sorry for yourself, feeling upset about what isn't happening or you can spend your time getting busy creating your amazing future. Spend time doing revenue-generating activities, be they short-term or long-term. Create a 1-, 3- or 5-year plan. Getting into action will temper any fear or anxiety you're feeling as well as help you to create awesome opportunities.
3. You can control what you don't do. Right after telling you to get busy, I'm going to remind you that doing just for the sake of being busy isn't the ticket. Sometimes it's what you fail to do that makes all the difference: fail to go to useless networking events, fail to procrastinate, fail to waste time on Facebook or twitter (unless you're using them to market your business or services).
4. You can use "down time" to work on yourself. When all of your i's are dotted and t's are crossed, you can sharpen your saw by doing what most other people stop doing as early as possible: learn. Learn a new skill, learn information that is valuable to your clients, concepts you could integrate into your business, and leading-edge ideas that will make a difference and complement your current vocation. Learn anything new to keep your brain sharp.
5. You can use your time to build deeper relationships. I love to do business with my friends, and it takes awhile to truly become friends. Finding yourself with some extra hours will allow you to meet someone for lunch, coffee, or drinks. This face-to-face offers the opportunity for true, deep and authentic relationships to occur. It's exactly those insights that you share, the thoughts you exchange and the information you provide that makes someone your friend -- and an advocate sometimes just when you need it.

What you can control, as you might have noticed, is really only you. Start today and see how much better you feel by tomorrow.

To your success! ~Coach Honorée

Tolerations are Slowing You Down!

A simple question to ask yourself today:  "What am I tolerating?" 

Tolerations are things (activities, relationships, incomplete projects, to do items, people, situations, etc.) that you are putting up with and not handling for one reason or another.

Tolerations zap your energy and keep you unfocused and off-balance. They are a slow-leak in your tires, making you less efficient, effective and more stressed. Most tolerations are a choice, a few are beyond our control.  By handling the ones that we can, we are empowered to manage the ones we can't. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it!

You have three choices to deal with a toleration:

1. You can surrender and accept it. The situation or person may never change. Are you wasting energy, time and possibly even money waiting on that possibility? Perhaps the best thing is to just allow what is to be what is.
2. You can eliminate it (or the person) from your life. This could involve you handling a situation and it is therefore eliminated, or ending a friendship or relationship. Sometimes this one is the hardest because it means you'll have to dig deep and make a tough, painful decision that is the best for all concerned in the long run. Always consider the long-term consequences when choosing this option. Most of the time if you think you need to eliminate something or someone, you're absolutely right.
3. You can change it. Or attempt to change it. Sometimes the best way to change a situation or relationship is to change the stimulus (you). When the stimulus changes, the response changes.

Go ahead, make a list of five things right now that you're putting up with and can handle right now. By doing do, you'll begin to build your weak "no tolerations allowed muscle." This will make future tolerations less likely to be tolerated by you, or at least for a shorter period of time.


Just so you know, you're worth it. (Yes, you.)

Now pick one thing and handle it today. If you're feeling sassy and inspired, do the same thing tomorrow and the next day! Post a comment and let me know what you did and how you feel now. I'll bet $5 you're feeling pretty great.

Release Your Inner Winner

One of my best girlfriend's had a birthday this past week. I promised her I would make my "world-famous" cupcakes to add to this evening's celebration. While visiting Michael's craft store I found the mold that would make what I think is the world's largest cupcake. I did what I wouldn't have done even as recently as a year ago: I bought it and used it.

For various reasons, I have always used this mantra "I don't have the Martha Stewart gene." That meant I didn't cook, bake, sew, craft or coordinate. I created inner limitations, created a story about why they were true, and held onto them for dear life. Then one day, I woke up and realized I could probably do any of the things I wanted to do, if I just put my mind to it. I also realized my stories about why I couldn't do things weren't serving me, and decided to change them.

Since then, I have cooked hundreds of new recipes and even recently released a cookbook. I've baked breads, cakes, cupcakes and about three weeks ago, I made truffles (and they were incredibly easy, I might add). I've crocheted scarves and today I made this purse for my daughter which included my first use of fabric glue.

Your Inner Winner is just waiting for a chance to help you create new levels of success. By all means, give him (or her) a chance! Notice when you're limiting yourself and make sure you're absolutely right. If you're not sure, you have an opportunity to do something new and see what happens.

Note: My attempt to make popcorn balls failed miserably. I will try again in time for Halloween. Even if you don't brilliantly succeed at each of your new ventures, you'll learn a lot about yourself a maybe even find a few new sources of joy.

Control Your Mental Real Estate

***After you read this post, be sure to visit me at my new                                     home here.***

Without question, the most important element in determining one's success is their attitude. I've noticed its really easy to have a great attitude when things are going great. What about when you're experiencing challenges? Your potentially positive attitude comes from controlling your mental real estate: your most valuable property is that which lies between your two ears.

When you're on top of the world, it seems as though everything goes right. This can be attributed to "like attracts like." You may have heard the saying, "The best time to close a deal is when you've just closed a deal." You've reached a high vibration, or have gotten in a flow state that seemingly makes things happen. The opposite also seems to be true: you lose a client, then another, then another. What you're focusing on, you're getting ... positive or negative.

If you want to begin to, or continue to, "trend up," here are action steps to get you started:

• Remember "be, do, have." You must be positive, then do the right things to have (get) what you want. To be enthusiastic, you must decide to be enthusiastic and fake it 'til you make it.
• Shift and the world shifts with you. Decide today is going to be an awesome day. Expect it to be awesome. Sit in a field of positive expectation and wonder what great thing is going to happen next.
• When something less-than-fantastic happens, you can respond or react. Choose to respond in whatever way is appropriate, then press the reset button on your attitude.
• Dedicate yourself daily (hourly, if necessary) to expanding the scope of your positive attitude.
• Think positive. Read positive. Listen positive. Talk positive. Affirm positive. Watch positive. Practice positive. Make yourself positive. Daily.

Tweet this: "Thinking you can unleashes the force that allows it to happen." ~@Honoree

Work-Life Balance Is Truly Possible!

Balance is your natural way of being ... even when life is full of chaos!

Despite the worldwide quest for Work-Life Balance, very few have found an acceptable definition of the concept. Here's a proven definition that will positively impact your everyday value and balance starting today.

Let's first define what work-life balance is not.

Work-Life Balance does not mean an equal balance. Trying to schedule an equal number of hours for each of your various work and personal activities is usually unrewarding and unrealistic. Life is and should be more fluid than that.

Your best individual work-life balance will vary over time, often on a daily basis. The right balance for you today will probably be different for you tomorrow. The right balance for you when you are single will be different when you marry, or if you have children; when you start a new career versus when you are nearing retirement.

There is no perfect, one-size fits all, balance you should be striving for. The best work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives.
However, at the core of an effective work-life balance definition are two key everyday concepts that are relevant to each of us. They are daily Achievement and Enjoyment, ideas almost deceptive in their simplicity.

Engraining a fuller meaning of these two concepts takes us most of the way to defining a positive Work-Life Balance. Achievement and Enjoyment answer the big question "Why?" Why do you want a better income…a new house…the kids through college…to do a good job today…to come to work at all?

Most of us already have a good grasp on the meaning of Achievement. But let's explore the concept of Enjoyment a little more. As part of a relevant Work-Life Balance definition, enjoyment does not just mean "Ha-Ha" happiness. It means Pride, Satisfaction, Happiness, Celebration, Love, a Sense of Well Being … all the Joys of Living.

Achievement and Enjoyment are the front and back of the coin of value in life. You can't have one without the other, no more than you can have a coin with only one side. Trying to live a one sided life is why so many "Successful" people are not happy, or not nearly as happy as they should be.

You cannot get the full value from life without BOTH Achievement and Enjoyment. Focusing on Achievement and Enjoyment every day in life helps you avoid the “As Soon As Trap,” the life dulling habit of planning on getting around to the joys of life and accomplishment “as soon as….”

I'd say, "You know, I just want to achieve something today and I want to enjoy something today. And if I do both of those things today, I'm going to have a pretty good day. And if I do both of those things every day, for the rest of my life… I'm going to have a pretty good life." I think that's true for all of us. Life will deliver the value and balance we desire when we are achieving and enjoying something every single day, in all the important areas that make up our lives. As a result, a good working definition of Work-Life Balance is:

Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.

Ask yourself now, when was the last time you Achieved AND Enjoyed something at work? What about Achieved AND Enjoyed with your family; your friends? And how recently have you Achieved AND Enjoyed something just for you?

Why not take 20 minutes on the way home from work and do something just for yourself? When you get home, before you walk in the door, think about whether you want to focus on achieving or enjoying at home tonight. Then act accordingly when you do walk in the door.

At work you can create your own best Work-Life Balance by making sure you not only Achieve, but also reflect the joy of the job, and the joy of life, every day. If nobody pats you on the back today, pat yourself on the back. And help others to do the same.

When you do, when you are a person that not only gets things done, but also enjoys the doing, it attracts people to you. They want you on their team and they want to be on your team.

Simple concepts. Once you focus on them as key components of your day, they are not that hard to implement. So, make it happen, for yourself, your family and all the important individuals you care about, every day for the rest of your life.



Related Articles:

How to Get Everything You Really Want {Honorée}

Tall Order! is a book that gets to the point. It helps you pinpoint what is going to get you the results you want, starting right now. Jeffrey Gitomer says, "Don't let the size fool you -- this book is compact dynamite! Buy this book!"

Honorée Enterprises, LLC. turns service providers into rainmakers, average producers into rock-stars, and dreams into reality. For more information on how we can specifically help you or your organization, click here. You can read all about Honorée here.

A Theme for Your Year

I've had a blast today receiving all of the birthday well-wishes (thank you!!). As I do every year, I reflect on the past year ... what went great, and what didn't so much. And, as I do every year, I give myself a theme. This past year it was, "Go big or go home." In the coming year, my theme is "Make the biggest difference."

This blog is meant to make the biggest difference I can possibly make to you, my reader. Here are the questions I am asking myself today. I encourage and challenge you to answer the questions for yourself, and make any necessary adjustments.

• How do I want to live my life, every day? What is truly important to me and how does my life reflect it? Who do I need to spend more time with, including scheduling alone time for myself ... and what are the activities I want to do?
  
• If this were my last day, what would I do (and are they things I could do even if it wasn't my last day)?
  
• Does my business support my dream life or is my life at the mercy of my business? What do I want and what adjustments do I need to make?
• Who do I need to have on (or eliminate from) my team?
• What is my plan and what are the action steps I need to take? Hint: take the first step immediately after making this list!
  

To get the juices flowing, here's one of mine: I want to make the biggest difference to my daughter. She will be 9 shortly, and that means its half over! That realization was one of the catalysts for cutting back on my hours so I can do homework with her every day after school. I will have plenty of time to work when she's in college ...

You really can design a your life just the way you want it. It may take some time, but with commitment, intention, support and flexibility it can be done! Of course, if you need support, I'm only a call or email away. Here's to a great year for you, this year and always.

Join the Upwising

This is fantastic! Join the UpWising!

Giving

There's been a lot about "giving" lately - from former President Bill Clinton's book Giving to Oprah's show on the same topic. This holiday, instead of the usual client gift, I pledged to do something to make the world a better place. On behalf of my clients, I made multiple micro loans to entrepreneurs in under-privileged nations. These entrepreneurs request a loans from Kiva (http://www.kiva.org/) so they open or finance new businesses to support themselves and their families.

Check out: http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=25637&_isc= for more information.

Once they have paid back their loans, I will be re-using that money to help other entrepreneurs. Once they’ve paid back their loans, I’ll re-use that money to help more entrepreneurs. And so on, and so on.

You can thank your clients for their business in 2007 in this most unique and thoughtful way -- and help in changing the world for the better!

Here’s to your continued success, prosperity and happiness.