Adversity ---> Success!

If you've ever felt like this:

Or this ...

You have three healthy choices: (1) accept the situation or circumstances, (2) change the situation or circumstances, or (3) eliminate the situation or circumstances.

You have one unhealthy choice: see above.

In coaching I use a technical term: marinating in your bullshit. This is what someone does when they stay stuck in the story (of what's happening "to them"), rather than seeing the situation as it is, then seeing it is as they'd like it to be, and then doing what they need to do to make how they want it to be a a reality.

Life happens. I could recount 5 challenging situations in my life today, some positive for sure, some will be seen as positive at some point. If I let them prevent me from loving on my daughter, being present in my marriage, doing business development, and providing awesome services to my clients, I run the risk of waking up someday with no relationship with my daughter, no marriage and no businesses. Not an option.

The same goes with you and the challenges you may be facing right now. Note: if you don't currently have a challenge, fear not, one will pop up soon just to keep life interesting. You can face your challenges head-on, or you can hide and wait for the storm to pass. If you don't take control, the storm could do far more damage than if you do. It's harder to make up for lost time, lost revenue, lost opportunities than it is to just seize them in spite of what's going on around you. Bonus: having success in the midst of your storms makes the storms more palatable.

Decide right now if you're going to let any challenge get the best of you, or if you're going to use the best of you to defeat and overcome the challenge. I've found that waiting to get really upset and continuing to focus on what I can control is what works best for me. Do yourself service and keep walking, keep moving, keep smiling and someday you'll look back and be pretty damn proud of how your handled yourself!


Networking is an over-used word, I actually think if you're in consistent contact with someone, you're actually building a relationship. When done right, it doesn't really feel like working at all (I've found), and can be an entree into having some of the most wonderful relationships. Truly, the best networking is relational, not transactional.

Networking will help you to: 
  1. Find potential clients and/or strategic partnerships
  2. Develop name and face recognition
  3. Work smarter, not harder

I classify networking as "marketing activities" and what goes under that umbrella is: coffee, lunch, drinks, dinner, sports events, actual networking events, office visits, etc.

How many people do you need to be in relationship with to have a full business, to reach your goals on a consistent basis? Each week, I advise setting a weekly marketing activity goal, broken down as follows: X number of total events, X number of new people, X number of 'no's'.* For most of my clients, they will plan to attend 5-10 events, meet at least 3-5 new people and get at 1-5 no's from someone who meets the criteria in their ideal client profile. For some that's not nearly enough (one does 15 events per week, meets with 10 new people and gets a total of 10 no's. Some of your "events" will include one-on-one conversations that are truly about just getting to know someone better. Remember: we all want to do business with our friends (people we know, like and trust) and we're more likely to give business to our friends, refer business to our friends and promote our friends.

If you're don't have enough business (yet), then you probably just need to get into relationship with more people, make more friends. Spend some time determining who you want to develop a deeper relationship with this year and then get those events on your calendar!
*If you're wondering why I'm adding "no's" to the list, then you don't know about the phenomenal book Go for No! Find info on it here and you can buy it here.

P is for Pain, C is for Consistency

I finished the workout, diet and weight-loss program Body for Life in mid-December. Then, due to travel and a few unfortunate events, I had to take a few weeks off from working out. While I mostly followed the eating portion of the program, all of my designs to re-start another round the first of the year ... well, let's just say they didn't go as planned.

So I finally got my ducks in a row and started again yesterday. The program includes weight-lifting, and one is meant to do five sets of each exercise. After three sets, I was already feeling "discomfort" and this morning I'm fully in the midst of "delayed onset muscle soreness." I used to be able to do all five sets, quickly, efficiently, and without any real discomfort. Even upping the ante every week throughout the program did not yield the same amount of soreness that I have today.

What do my workouts have to do with your business? Actually, quite a bit. Had I consistently continued my workouts, I would be able to do them as before without the pain. Due to the break, I'm going through the initial pain that comes with starting again. As anyone who's started an exercise program knows, there's a period of time that one must go through that's not really enjoyable to get to the part where it's enjoyable.

The same is true with your business: if you start marketing your services, do it for awhile, then stop or scale way back, you lose most or all of the progress you've made, and then you must endure the pain of starting again. It's far better to stay in the game once you've started playing.


I hear my clients expressing the pain of not doing critical-inch activities consistently. Once we put a structure in place that includes those activities, they enjoy the benefits of those efforts, and so can you. Very simply, identify those activities that create the results you want and calendar them, in advance. Make sure those appointments are non-negotiable. This means you won't allow other distractions to get in the way of your progress, and you will make positive progress toward your goals and ideal outcomes.

Are you Selling or Strategically Selling?

When you enter a store and you hear: "Let me know if you need anything," the store is just hoping to do some selling.

When you hear, "Have you been here before?" and "Let me tell you about our store," that store is strategically selling.

Adding strategy to your selling (and if you're in business, no matter what you do, trust me, you're selling) can make the difference between $100,000 and $1 million, or $1 million and $10 million.

One way to add strategy to your selling is questions. Pre-determine the questions you need to ask in order to determine if (a) the person/company you're speaking to needs your services and (b) if you can actually help them.

No sense attempting to sell someone who can't afford you, doesn't need you or you can't actually really help, right?

3 Ways to Grow Your Business

There are three ways to grow your business:

1. Increase the number of clients you have
2. Increase the size of each sale
3. Increase the frequency of purchases

The easiest and fastest of the three is actually number three. You've already got clients, they have or have had a relationship with you. Your first goal could be to increase this category by 10%. This should be easy, given the reasons for attrition (the % or number of clients who "stop" working with you):
  • They have completed their work with you (or have enough of a supply of what you sell for now).
  • There's a life interruption that's negative (illness, death, cash-flow challenges, business failure, etc.)
  • The force of a habit took a hold of them, and they need what you have but haven't taken the time to reach out to you.
  • They out-grew the need for your product/service. If so, that makes them a great referral source because they left happy!
The problem is, if you never circle back with these folks, you'll never know that they are now ready to buy again or refer you to someone new.

Here's what to do:
  • call
  • email
  • visit
  • mail
Here's what you say:
  • It's been {a year}, something is wrong with you or us. You're important to me and I've been thinking about you. It's important to me that the last interaction or transaction you have with me and my company is positive. How are you? Is everything ok? (On the off chance they are upset, find out what you need to do to fix it and make it right.) 
There's a tremendous amount of business waiting if you make a list of who you need to reach out to, reach out to again, thank for their business, ask for their business or just say hello. The percentages are there, yours for the taking. Get into action and soon your biggest problem will be how to spend the cash!

Who's Your Ideal Client?

I meet new people all the time, and one of the first questions I ask is, "Who is your ideal client?" The response I hear, too many times: "Right now, I'm just taking what I can get, I just need the money, the cash-flow."

I'll get straight to the point: if you get what you settle for, you'll very likely be very unhappy with what you get. 

Your very next activity, before you meet with another person or attend another networking event (or tweet even!) is to create an Ideal Client Profile. This profile is a fully-comprehensive list of the qualities and characteristics of the person or people you want to work with. To go deeper, it's the person, if they were to walk through your door right now, that would light you up like a Christmas tree. It's the person you get the most joy from helping. It's the person you can work with effectively and efficiently, meaning, your time is valuable and you're making good use of it. It's the person you do your best work for and with, and it's the person that provides the most profit for your bottom line. (You can substitute "company" or "people" for the word "person.)

Let's review:
  • least/best amount of time spent
  • most amount of joy
  • best work
  • most profitable
If you're not entirely clear how to define any or all of these points for yourself, it's time to dig deeper and you'll need to define these, too.

You may be so busy you can't see straight (and then it's time for you to get a coach!), so the thought of more work seems out of the question. The question is, how could you possibly not take the time to do it?

Once you've got your list and you're clear about who you're looking for (and darn excited about it, if I do say so myself), then and only then can you resume your marketing activities.

Coach's Note: Once you have your profile, only engage those that fit the profile. You'll get "rich in your niche" ... specialists always make more than generalists. Be clear about who you are, what you do and who you serve -- and remember to have fun with it! From here on, you can build your brand around that profile. You'll be delighted to watch your joy and your bottom line soar.

Your Natural State: Calm, Collected, Organized & Happy

I had a long conversation today with a close friend and colleague about perfection, happiness and success. She wanted to know how I "do it" and "make it look so easy." While I appreciate that, I thought this post could shed some light on what I do that works for me, and help you discover what might work for you. My readers, clients and followers tend to be type-A, MACH-1 with their hair on fire types who are uber-successful and not always happy with the process.

We've learned that we’re supposed to be busy.  We’re supposed to say yes to everyone, be completely frenetic and crazy.  No-one wants to see someone who is calm, collected and organized because they think they’re a freak of nature.  But that actually is our natural state. It is YOUR natural state. Let me help you get there, starting now.
  • Take a few steps back to make a giant leap forward. You'll do this by getting organized. Whether you're almost there and it just takes a few hours this afternoon to clean out "that last drawer" or several blocked off days to get it done, get yourself organized. There are amazing professional organizers who can help you find a place for everything and get everything in it's place.
  • Take control of your mind and body. You'll do this by moving, breathing, listening, learning and being grateful. If you think you don't have time, you don't not have the time to take care of yourself, learn something new, stop and smell the roses. Do you see the guy down the hall who's got 10 or 20 years on you, he's overweight, divorced and miserable? He might be a little more financially wealthy, but emotionally, physically, spiritually and in his relationships he's bankrupt. I don't want that to be you. 
  • Take stock. You'll do this by deciding what you truly want and moving in that direction. Change disciplines or careers entirely, or just finally learn French, or to paint, go to Europe, or put some art on your walls. It doesn't matter: get excited about something you have been wanting to get excited about, and do something about it. Today.
  • Get focused. You'll do this by stopping all of the minutiae nonsense, time-wasting activities and "stuff" you don't love (or like). If you're a professional, spend your time doing two things: (1) making money* and (2) enjoying the money you make.
    *Let your assistant do all of the things you're doing that are she/he could be doing. You should be billing many more of the hours you're working.
  • Enjoy today. You never know, it could just be your last day.

It's your life and you get to decide. Truly.

~To your success! Honorée


There's a lot of excitement about this new year. The economy seems to be shifting in a positive direction, and a new year always seems to bring with it the promise of a blank slate and tons of possibilities. What no-one is really talking about is the stress (even if it's good stress) that goes along with it. Having some rock-solid, stress-busting, fabulous tools in your toolbox that can help are just what you need!

Coach's Awareness: Here are 10 top "negative" stressors: having a sick family member, cash flow (or lack of it), your own health, children, work, personal safety, the state of the world, terrorism/natural disasters, intimate relationships, and discrimination. They can make you feel like this:

There are positive stressors, too. These are the ones you choose, like getting married, having a child, moving, or starting a business.  These are supposed to, but don't always, make you feel like this:

Stress is simply the tension you feel when your mind is focusing on something and there's some uncertainty involved. Stress is a natural part of being alive. It comes along with setting goals, going places and doing things. The challenge, as I see it, is to manage stress and even maximize it! Here are some of the stress minimizers and maximizers I use on a regular basis:
  • Exercise. I simultaneously get my blood flowing and release negative stress 5-6 times a week. No need to train for your first Ironman, just throw on some shoes and go for a walk. 
  • Listen & Learn. While you're walking, add your iPod with some invigorating tunes. For you super-achiever, Type-A folks, listen to an audiobook or even your favorite motivational speaker. Moving your body while simultaneously stimulating your mind is a pretty great way to spend part of your day.
  • Meditate. Go to YouTube, iTunes, or do a Google search to find a 3-5 minute meditation. Very simply, meditation gives you a few minutes to go within, be mindful, and take deep breaths. When you're not breathing deeply, you might be overeating, over-sleeping, or just going crazy. I do a 26-minute meditation each and every night before bedtime. It's up to you whether it's a few minutes or an hour, but, very simply, it works.
  • Laugh. Laughing releases stress and not many things feel better than a good belly laugh. Find reasons to laugh, even if you search for them on YouTube (to get started, search for "funniest cat video"). In my search for eliminating stress, I found this.
  • Drink some water and eat a healthy snack.
  • Get "it" all out of your head and on paper. "It" being every single thing you need to do, or think you need to do ... all of the things that are taking up your very valuable mental real estate. Next, divide the list into these categories: do, delegate, delay or dump. What's left on the actual to do list are the items you prioritize, attach time to and calendar. When I focus on all of the things I'm excited about doing, I forget about the stress. You will, too.
  • STOP. When all else fails, lock yourself in your office, your bedroom or even get a hotel room. Give yourself permission to stop moving and doing until you can get some semblance of peacefulness. You have permission (if you need it) to not do anything else until you're good and ready. Yes, the world will wait.
Stress - you've got it, you're going to keep having it. Choose now to deal with it in a way that actually makes life much more enjoyable for you and those around you. You'll be glad you did!

~To Your Success, Honorée

Blog Redux: Shift and the World Shift With You

Here's a re-blog from January 2009 I thought you'd enjoy: 

I started a 100-Day program with a group of professional ladies last Monday. Each Friday, they are meant to fill out a Weekly Progress Sheet. This is the sheet that helps the coach (me) coach them effectively and keeps them on track. Several of the ladies got my one-time courtesy call reminding them to do their homework. Oh, the stories they told! I didn't do my homework because ... I was in a meeting, my kids were sick, I got distracted, I'm busy doing something else, I forgot, blah blah blah.

Here's the notice: what you're experiencing in your life and business is in direction proportion to what you're making happen, allowing to happen, focusing on and creating a story about. If you have clients that aren't returning your calls, whose call haven't you returned? If you aren't getting new business, what product or service have you put off getting? Are you focusing on the possibilities or the challenges? If you're having lots of challenges, I bet $50 you're talking about those challenges, making them bigger and bigger.

The new year is one of many perfect times (along with Mondays and birthdays that end in zero) to press your reset button and decide to do something new. Get yourself organized, argue for the possibilities, take action when you'd rather update your status on Facebook, call the person you're sure is going to say "no" and ask for their business anyway. As you shift, the world will shift with you and rise up to meet you.

Give it a try. Watch the cool things that happen!

Happy New Year!

LinkedIn is a Goldmine (Are you on it? Using it?)

LinkedIn seems to be overlooked in the social media realm in favor of other more popular sites, such as Facebook and twitter. LinkedIn is literally a gold-mine of potential connections for the forward-thinking professional. Consider this:
  • All 500 of the Fortune 500 are represented in LinkedIn. In fact, 499 of them are represented by director-level and above employees.
  • People with more than twenty connections are thirty-four times more likely to be approached with a job opportunity than people with less than five.
  • LinkedIn has over 85 million members in over 200 countries.
  • A new member joins LinkedIn approximately every second, and about half of our members are outside the U.S. 
 While most people who are using social media visit their other sites every day, LinkedIn is the one I hear they are not on "very often." After using LinkedIn to find valuable connections in cities across the U.S., I think it's time this changes. Here's why and how:

Increase your visibility.
By adding connections, you increase the likelihood that people will see your profile first when they’re searching for someone to hire or do business with. In addition to appearing at the top of search results, they will be able to read your recommendations. In truth, people would much rather work with people who their friends know and trust and are willing to put it in writing.

Improve your connectability by creating a full profile.
Most new users put only their current company in their profile. By doing so, they severely limit their ability to connect with people. You should fill out your profile like it’s an executive bio, so include past companies, education, affiliations, and activities. You can also include a link to your profile as part of an email signature. The added benefit is that the link enables people to see all your credentials, which would be awkward (if not downright strange) as an attachment.

Enhance your search engine results.
In addition to your name, you can also promote your blog or website to search engines like Google and Yahoo! Your LinkedIn profile allows you to publicize websites. There are a few pre-selected categories like “My Website,” “My Company,” etc. If you select “Other” you can modify the name of the link. If you’re linking to your personal blog, include your name or descriptive terms in the link, and voila! instant search-engine optimization for your site. To make this work, be sure your public profile setting is set to “Full View.” 

A full profile tells a lot.
When someone takes the time to fill out their job history, interests, education, non-profit and volunteering efforts, that allows you to see possible points of rapport. You may have a city, school or cause in common. This can be the basis of a great conversation. 

Find new work and even make your interview go more smoothly.
You can use LinkedIn to find the people that you’re meeting. Knowing that you went to the same school, plays hockey, or shares acquaintances is a lot better than an awkward silence after, “I’m doing fine, thank you.” 

Ask for advice, give advice, start a discussion.
You can use your status box to ask a powerful question to get the input of your fellow professionals, tell them something valuable they might not know, or even start a discussion. Search for a join groups and then use those platforms to the start conversations that ultimately can be the start of some valuable relationships. 

Find Valuable Connections.
Connecting to your connections is one way to expand your network. People will most like link to someone with whom they have a connection. When sending your invitation, be sure to note those connections and ask to link. You can do a search for categories of professionals across LinkedIn in it’s entirety, or in a specific area. If you are in search of marketing directors, do a search, ask to link, and begin a dialogue. Some won’t bite, but some will and those conversations can be the start of something big.

I hope you'll begin to use LinkedIn to do all of the above!  


The key word for you to use, from now on, to determine your succes, is "how?" How can I make this happen? How can I pay that bill? What else could I do? How could I do it?

The word "how" pre-supposes a solution is available. It makes the assumption that if you desire an outcome, you can get that outcome.

"How" needs to be at the beginning of the primary questions you ask yourself. There are other, powerful questions, and for right now, start with this one.