Dealing with Nay-Sayers & Criticizers

As you rise to the top, go for your goals and achieve success, there will inevitably be those folks who have "input" for you. There's a saying I've heard: 
"The higher up the flag pole you rise, the more your ass sticks out." 
This is so true!

You can choose to play small and fit in, or you can go for it and along with that will come those who will say it can't be done or criticize your optimism and even your results! There are, indeed, those people who believe those who are rich and successful must have done something bad to reach their achievements.

Coach's note: You can't resent something someone else has and get more of it for yourself.

My mentors and coaches have given me some insight into dealing with these people, their thoughts and input:
  • Take time to ponder their words. Ask yourself if there's some validity to what they're saying. If there is, you may have some opportunity for improvement or adjustment. 
  • Another great question: "Do they live a life I aspire to?" If not, there's no need for further thought. For me, if I don't have high respect for the person who's criticizing me, I will most likely dismiss what they have to say.
  • Finally, if the person who has something to say hasn't taken the time to talk with you, get to know you and gather all the information they need to form an opinion, than their opinion is just that: their opinion and it is none of your business (and it should stay that way).
  • Sometimes what they have to say is all about them, their fears and insecurities, and has nothing to do with you. If someone can say something, get you to doubt yourself and play small, then they won't feel as uncomfortable. Have compassion, and love them just the same (from a safe distance, if you need to).
I, for one, know it's hard to hear anything less than "You're fantastic!" from everyone. The nicer you are, and the more you want to please people, the more you want to hear it. The simple fact is you won't hear it from everyone, and the more successful you become, the more critics you have. The best antidote to that is to have a small circle of close friends and family who cheer you on and want the best for you.

Here's to your amazing success!

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Honorée Enterprises, LLC. turns service providers into rainmakers, average producers into rock-stars, and dreams into reality. For more information on how we can specifically help you or your organization, click hereYou can read all about Honorée here.

Beliefs --> Behaviors --> Results

The good news is: your results are based upon your beliefs. The bad news is: your results are based on your beliefs. The results you're getting in your life are a direct result of the deeply-held beliefs that control your behaviors and actions, and therefore your results.

These beliefs can relate to something simple, like my old belief of “I don’t cook, sew, decorate, etc. because I was never taught to do these things.” I decided I didn't like the outcomes (or lack thereof), so I changed that belief to: “If I can read and follow directions, I can do anything.” Once I adopted that new belief, guess what happened? I started doing all of the things I previously said I couldn't do. Was I perfect at first? Heck no! Did I make it a point to laugh at my lack of competence? Absolutely! Over time, I've gotten better and it's increased my self-esteem in the areas of trying new things.

Your beliefs can be about something more complex or complicated, like today's current economic conditions. Try adopting this belief: "I live in abundance. I choose to participate in a rockin' positive economy." Believe me when I say: the choice is truly yours.

Change your belief, change your story, and your self-esteem and belief in yourself will rise - and your results will change, for the better. This I know for sure.

Sending E-mail Made Simple

E-mail has dramatically increased the speed of communication. Present day, people expect instant replies, which has forced us into hastily crafted responses, rash decisions and sometimes poor judgment calls. Taking the time to employ some old school wisdom, common sense, and logic to your e-mail will automatically filter out and eliminate many such potential errors.

Here are Fourteen Tips for Excellent E-mail:
  • Keep it brief. Your reader will mentally check out, neglect to read until it's too late, or even delete what could be a very important message if it's too long. Make no more than three points or ask three questions in any e-mail. Use the amount of screen you can see as a guide when crafting an email. If someone can read your e-mail in under one minute, you're most likely to get and keep their attention, as well as get a response.
  • Include the original text with your reply. That way, if you do use a one-word response (not advised), the original sender (and now recipient) will know to what you're referring.
  • Have "in writing" standards. Use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. Remember, you never know who will be the ultimate recipient of your e-mail and you always want to be seen in the best light.
  • DON'T YELL. No-one likes to be yelled at, and ALL CAPS gives a sense that you're YELLING.
  • Fresh topics need a fresh e-mail. It can be confusing if you reply to an old e-mail with a new subject. If you must, delete all of the old text and then compose your new message.
  • Make your subject line clear and captivating. What is the subject of your e-mail? Why should the recipient open it and read it right now? Rev up those creative juices when composing to ensure the recipient will be compelled to read and respond right away.
  • Know when to use CC and BCC. Copy only those who absolutely need to be copied. When broadcasting to more than three (yes, 3) people, use BCC to avoid blasting everyone's e-mail address to everyone else on the list (this, in turn, will prevent a host of other potential challenges).
  • Add a greeting. Include at least a "Hi, Susan," at the beginning. The best e-mails I've seen have the date at the top. It just adds that extra bit of professionalism.
  • Have a signature. I have lost count of the number of times I've had to search for someone's phone number or address because it wasn't included in their email. Unless the recipient is your mom or best friend, they won't have your information memorized. Alleviate the need for someone to "track you down" and provide the information they need each and every time you reach out to them.
  • Market mindfully. If you use e-mail to send e-zines or e-newsletters, be brief, to the point, and add instant value to your reader. Raise your hand if you get 200 e-mails every single day (me, too). I want to read pertinent, informative and valuable e-mails. All of the others are deleted. Aren't you the same way?
  • Reply in a timely manner. Don't say you're too busy, everyone's too busy. Take one minute to reply, rather than making the sender wait for your response. It is entirely within your right to respond with, "Thank you, I'm not interested at this time." Just as it's important to return phone calls within 24-48 hours, the same holds true with e-mail. If you must set aside 30-45 minute each day to respond to e-mails, then do just that.
  • Be mindful of your tone. Be as polite as your possibly can. When in doubt, read your message out loud and if there's any room for doubt about your tone, change your words, syntax and possibly your punctuation.
  • (Almost) Never use "reply all": At the very least, use "reply all" sparingly and only when you're completely sure that everyone on the original recipient list has an interest in, and/or needs to receive your response.
  • Don't hide behind e-mail. If you have something important to say, have the courage to say it over the phone or in person. It is considered passive-aggressive and unprofessional to send your "true feelings" in writing over e-mail. I also advise against using profanity. You just never know who will eventually see your email!
  • Anger is one letter short of danger. Would you want the email you're about to send to be seen by your parents, best friend, children, boss, be printed on the front page of your local paper or highlighted on CNN? If the answer is no, compose away ... go ahead and get all of those negative thoughts and feelings out ... and then hit "delete!"
Using the tips outlined above give you an edge, quite possibly just the edge you'll need to get that new client, keep your clients satisfied, and make the right impression at just the right time.

Rules for Leaving Effective, Useful Voice Mail by Ellen Simon

Be brief, be concise and, most of all, don't waste people's time, experts warn


If you would like to leave a long, rambling message with no apparent point, please hang up now.

If you are calling to verify that your e-mail has been received, please go outside and do five laps around the block.

If you'd like to leave five numbers and the different hours of the day you might be reached at those numbers, please quit your job, begin taking daily Bikram yoga classes and move to Santa Fe.

If you are Alec Baldwin, please hang up and call your attorney.

Voice mail used to be so useful. But somewhere along the line it drifted from brief messages saying, "Hello, it's Jordan. We have reservations at 6:30 at Savoy for dinner. See you there," to painful, musing, hard-to-comprehend monologues.

And we're not just talking about Baldwin's voice-mail-heard-round-the-world to his 11-year-old daughter, calling her a "thoughtless little pig." We're talking about the business world.

Greg Brown, editorial director of the financial publishing group at Newsmax Media Inc. based in West Palm Beach, Fla., said he follows specific rules when leaving a voice mail, saying his number twice, slowly, then his name with a brief message, then his number, plus an e-mail option.


"Because I am so annoyed at this message, which I get 15 times a day," he said. " 'Hiiiii, Greg, this is Allan, well, I was thinking about our, uh, conversation, and I think that maybe a good way to do the next step might be uh (long pause while he fiddles with a door, or something) get together and talk about it, maybe get a drink, I dunno ... hey, maybe we could involve the people in marketing, too, well, maybe, it's a thought. Anyway, give me a call. ..."

Then, there are the mystery callers.

"People leave a message saying, 'Hey, it's me. I can't wait to tell you something. Call me back,' " said Honoree Corpron, an executive coach based in Las Vegas. "And I play it over and over, wondering,
 'Who is this?' "

In the age of caller ID, it's somewhat easier to figure out, but not always.

"I had a woman call recently, saying, 'Hi. It's Cathy.' We had a bad connection, I called her back and got her outgoing voice mail that said: 'Hi. It's Cathy.' There are days when I talk to 200 people. Cathy is not an uncommon name. Is it Cathy my neighbor? Cathy the Realtor? I still don't know who she is," Corpron said.

As we clean our desks and promise to start the new year fresh, perhaps it's time to rethink how we handle voice mail. Some tips:
  • Nix the list of alternate numbers when you leave a message. "Forward your phone instead," said Caroline Ceniza-Levine, who co-owns a New York-based career coaching company called "Don't ask the caller to hunt you down. It's disrespectful of their time. They already tried to reach you once."
  • If you can't keep your outgoing voice mail short, give callers a way to bypass a long message. "There are people who, when I call them, I make sure I have five minutes: Three minutes to listen to their outgoing message, two minutes to leave a message," Corpron said.
  • Leave brief messages. "Never leave voice mail longer than 30 seconds," said Chris Carpinello, a software engineer at Lancope, a network operations company based in Atlanta. "If you can't convey why we need to chat in that time, you are not communicating effectively, which is tantamount to wasting my time. Think of voice mail like a resume. Efficiently 'sell' yourself to me and provide a compelling reason to follow up with you."
  • If you have vast amounts of information to convey, send it another way, like e-mail.
Finally, if you're not in a job in which doing so could get you fired or indicted, you might want to have some fun with your voice mail.

National Discount Brokers was well known around 2000 for its voice-mail instructions, which ended with, "If you'd like to hear a duck quack, press seven." So many people did that it became part of the company's marketing.

Corpron said she's left an outgoing message saying: "Hi, it's Honoree. I'm out doing my Christmas shopping and I need some additional cash. Please leave your name and your American Express card number."

"People do it!" she said.

Your Schedule Shall Set You Free!

I got almost everything done today I wanted to. I definitely got all of the important, must-do tasks checked off. I have a set list of priority items I work on daily (workout, read, write, marketing, coach, family time) that take me toward my goals. These are my six daily actions, and I've been using and teaching this practice for many years. This list is my touchstone, it keeps me focused and on track.

To identify your most important daily actions, ask yourself:
  1. “What are my top three goals?" 
  2. Next, based on those goals, "What are the most important action items I must commit to in order to achieve my goals?" 
  3. Immediately calendar those six daily action items. Suddenly your list of activities will have a much greater impact on moving your business/practice forward. It also helps eliminate the questions around where future work is coming from.
Coach's Note: Schedule 60-80 percent of your workday on your six daily actions. Notice I didn’t say you would work only 60-80% of your day, I said schedule 60-80% of your day. This will allow for you to have the flexibility to address client or staff challenges, work on projects, and you can effectively go after opportunities as they occur. By not scheduling every minute of the day, when something pops up you’ll have the time to address it without rearranging your schedule, and everyone else’s schedule, to deal with it.

In practice: Your six-daily items may sometimes be schedule as a to do item during only one or two days during the week. The focus is progress not perfection. The aim is to stay on track the majority (60-80%) of the time. By identifying your actions and calendaring them as on-going items, you will never get too far off-track.