If you don't have everything you really want, there might just be one critical thing missing in your box of tricks: asking. We've all heard "Ask and ye shall receive." The challenge is, as kids, we're told "No, and stop asking." What may have happened is that you've been conditioned to (a) ask internally (as in, "I hope they just ask me for my product/service without me having to ask.") or (b) ask once and wait. Neither of these really works, and it certainly won't get you what you want.
The truth is: You Must A-S-K to G-E-T. Here are five keys to successful asking:
1. Ask specifically. Be precise. Tell who, what, where, when and if necessary, why. This will require you to be clear about what you want prior to embarking on your quest.
2. Ask someone who can help you, hire you, give you the yes. Pre-qualify who you're asking to make sure you're not engaging in an exercise in futility. Find the person with the authority and the money.
3. Ask from a place of adding value. Create a win-win situation. If you're always just asking, you'll be considered a taker. The most successful people are givers and give first whenever possible. What can you possibly do for the person you're asking that will make the yes you're getting seem like the most logical thing for them to do?
4. Ask with congruent belief that you'll get the yes. Lack of belief sounds like, 'You don't really want to help me, do you?' Your belief can not only affect whether or not they say yes, it can affect their subsequent actions.
5. Ask until. God's delays are not God's denials. Ask again. Ask another person. Keep asking until you get what you want. Become a kid again. My sweet Lexi, without question, is a master (at age 10) of this key. If only we, as adults, were as committed to getting the yes as our children!
Go for it! The amazing results you're after are yours to get.
Abudance AND Happiness?
I had a discussion recently regarding abundance (in terms of money and time) and personal happiness. Could it be true that what we've been taught - that in order to be wealthy, we must sacrifice our personal happiness and spend all of our time in pursuit of this wealth?
My answer to this is a resounding NO. My personal belief is that in pursuing our most passionate past-times, we are able to create an abundance of whatever we need, including time and money.
I read a book years ago, Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow, and the entire book was about just this very concept. If you've bought into the belief, through social conditioning (absolutely present, and completely unnecessary), that you must sacrifice everything else in order to have "enough" to do what you really want to do, I'd like to challenge that belief. You can wake up every day, full of energy, vitality and positive expectation. The first thing you have to do is make the decision to do it! You may not be able to leave your law practice tomorrow and go to culinary school, but you could in 1, 3 or 6 months if you created a plan to do so. You could start that business you've always talked about, dreamed about, and perhaps stopped wanting because you've stopped believing you could do it.
It's up to you to stop believing it's not possible and step into all of the ways it could be possible. Really, the only thing standing in between you and everything you've ever wanted, everything you still want, is you.
You have to become unreasonable, and when you do, you raise your standards and start to go for what you truly want. Don't settle, you only have one life and the time is right now to start living it exactly the way you want it. Go for it!
My answer to this is a resounding NO. My personal belief is that in pursuing our most passionate past-times, we are able to create an abundance of whatever we need, including time and money.
I read a book years ago, Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow, and the entire book was about just this very concept. If you've bought into the belief, through social conditioning (absolutely present, and completely unnecessary), that you must sacrifice everything else in order to have "enough" to do what you really want to do, I'd like to challenge that belief. You can wake up every day, full of energy, vitality and positive expectation. The first thing you have to do is make the decision to do it! You may not be able to leave your law practice tomorrow and go to culinary school, but you could in 1, 3 or 6 months if you created a plan to do so. You could start that business you've always talked about, dreamed about, and perhaps stopped wanting because you've stopped believing you could do it.
It's up to you to stop believing it's not possible and step into all of the ways it could be possible. Really, the only thing standing in between you and everything you've ever wanted, everything you still want, is you.
You have to become unreasonable, and when you do, you raise your standards and start to go for what you truly want. Don't settle, you only have one life and the time is right now to start living it exactly the way you want it. Go for it!
All I Need to Know About Tenacity I'm Learning from My 10-Year-Old
My daughter Lexi came to me and asked if she could earn some money by selling my books, Tall Order! and The Successful Single Mom, and could she sell them door-to-door in our neighborhood. Thinking this would be a soon-forgotten (by her) request, I said "Sure!"
She immediately grabbed her cell phone and 5 copies of each book and set off down the street. Within five minutes she called and said she had sold her first $15 book, and since she didn't have change, she made $20. I told her she had about another hour and then she needed to come home for dinner by 7. At 7:07, I called to find out where she was. She told me she was talking to a lady named Melinda who was a single mom with two dogs and she was just getting to know her. She informed me she'd be home in about 10 minutes. When she returned home, she asked if she could go out again in the morning. She made $35, sold two books, and was so excited.
Today she and her friend spent about 2 hours, went to 25 houses, got 6 no's and 1 yes (and another $20). Rather than be discouraged, she put her money in a pile and declared herself successful. She had reached her first goal, she told me, of making $50.
Her tenacity, enthusiasm and resilience have inspired me. I will no longer get discouraged by knocking on more doors than I'd like, or hearing no when I'd rather hear yes. I will take my cues from my inspirational 10-year-old and keep smiling, dialing, meeting and greeting. I hope you will, too.
She immediately grabbed her cell phone and 5 copies of each book and set off down the street. Within five minutes she called and said she had sold her first $15 book, and since she didn't have change, she made $20. I told her she had about another hour and then she needed to come home for dinner by 7. At 7:07, I called to find out where she was. She told me she was talking to a lady named Melinda who was a single mom with two dogs and she was just getting to know her. She informed me she'd be home in about 10 minutes. When she returned home, she asked if she could go out again in the morning. She made $35, sold two books, and was so excited.
Today she and her friend spent about 2 hours, went to 25 houses, got 6 no's and 1 yes (and another $20). Rather than be discouraged, she put her money in a pile and declared herself successful. She had reached her first goal, she told me, of making $50.
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| Lexi & her $55 |
Her tenacity, enthusiasm and resilience have inspired me. I will no longer get discouraged by knocking on more doors than I'd like, or hearing no when I'd rather hear yes. I will take my cues from my inspirational 10-year-old and keep smiling, dialing, meeting and greeting. I hope you will, too.
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