The 4 Key Cornerstones of Successful and Happy People

{Via}

***After you read this post, be sure to visit me at my new home here.***

There are the four key cornerstones of a successful and happy person: talent, character, attitude, and skills. With one exception, the skills piece, each of the other three centers around what you've been given naturally, what you choose to do, and who you choose to be. It's these three that require undivided focus and attention, lest we work hard to create something only to have it come undone because of our personality and personal choices.

Talent. A natural aptitude for what you do means you'll be good at it, and you'll really like to do it. In fact, the more you like to do something, the more you do it and the better you get at it. This is both for things you like to do, and for things you don't care to do. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you want to do it or like to do it. A skill is actually an ability to perform a task. Having natural talent for something means you have an almost instinctive and intuitive ability to do something, and we can all agree the things that come easiest to us are the things we most enjoy doing.

Why Your Positive Attitude is Working Against You

{Via}

***After you read this post, be sure to visit me at my new home here.***

You've heard it time and time again: have a positive mental attitude. No-one, and I mean no-one wants to hear your tales of woe. Right? Maybe.

I bet you've had a full gallon of the Kool-aid, and you practice positive self-talk, keep your problems to yourself, dress for success, and forge ahead like your stuff is nobody's business.

Thought for today ...

Win-Win

If you are successful,

remember that somewhere,

sometime, someone gave you

a lift or an idea that

started you in the right direction.

Remember, also,

that you are indebted to life until you help

some less fortunate person,

just as you were helped.

Blog Redux: Shift and the World Shift With You

Here's a re-blog from January 2009 I thought you'd enjoy: 

I started a 100-Day program with a group of professional ladies last Monday. Each Friday, they are meant to fill out a Weekly Progress Sheet. This is the sheet that helps the coach (me) coach them effectively and keeps them on track. Several of the ladies got my one-time courtesy call reminding them to do their homework. Oh, the stories they told! I didn't do my homework because ... I was in a meeting, my kids were sick, I got distracted, I'm busy doing something else, I forgot, blah blah blah.

Here's the notice: what you're experiencing in your life and business is in direction proportion to what you're making happen, allowing to happen, focusing on and creating a story about. If you have clients that aren't returning your calls, whose call haven't you returned? If you aren't getting new business, what product or service have you put off getting? Are you focusing on the possibilities or the challenges? If you're having lots of challenges, I bet $50 you're talking about those challenges, making them bigger and bigger.

The new year is one of many perfect times (along with Mondays and birthdays that end in zero) to press your reset button and decide to do something new. Get yourself organized, argue for the possibilities, take action when you'd rather update your status on Facebook, call the person you're sure is going to say "no" and ask for their business anyway. As you shift, the world will shift with you and rise up to meet you.

Give it a try. Watch the cool things that happen!

Happy New Year!

Success or Failure Depends on Resourceful

I talked recently about your A Game vs. your B game. A big part of your A Game is being resourceful. When I'm resourceful, I feel invincible, powerful ~ like I can handle anything! When I'm in an unresourceful state of mind, body or emotion (or all three), I feel the opposite. Even the little things get me down, and I'm sure you can relate. Like your A Game, you've got to crack the code on making sure you feel resourceful and can therefore handle anything life throws at you.

Being resourceful is being calm, confident and feeling powerful. Here are 7 steps to creating a resourceful state of mind (from scratch). I suggest practicing now, while you're feeling pretty good.*

1. Select previous success experience and bring it to mind. Run the movie in your head for a few minutes.

2. Intensify that moment. Use ALL of your senses to take yourself there, but make it bigger, better and brighter than it was when it happened.

3. Think of one word that sums of your experience, a key word that reminds you of that time/success and how great you feel about it.

4. Sit up straight. Look up. Take a deep breath. (*Smile.*)

5. Close your eyes and clinch your fist. Repeat your key word out loud

6. Intensify your memory of that original experience. Live that experience again and again and again until you're literally vibrating with excitement.

7. Unclench your fist and open your eyes. Now, go have an amazing day.

For those of you disbelievers, just trust me. Have I steered you off course ever before? No, of course not. Try it, what have you got to lose but that sour face? You've got everything to gain. That's why I'm writing this for you, right now. I'll be ready to hear your great report.

*What? You're not feeling good? Call the person who has the ability to make you feel fantastic right now. To avoid spiraling further down, for goodness sake people by all means do not tell them your story, ask them to spend three full minutes telling you how terrific you are, making sure they don't leave anything out. When the three minutes is up, hang up! You can always fill 'em in later, after you've gotten yourself into a better place.

August is a Great Month to ..

August is great month to have fun, feel free and allow yourself to attract effortlessly what you want.

Set three powerful intentions for the month (10 new client, $50,000 in new revenue, lose 8 lbs.). Intentions are goals on steroids, because an intention will happen, where goals (sometimes) are "I'd like them to happen.

What are the three strong actions you must and will take to support your intentions?

Let go and/or eliminate. What are three things (tolerations, energy sucking people, clutter, etc.) you will let go of in August to support your intentions? What is one thing you will stop doing this month?

What is one thing you will do to solidify your finances and financial future this month?

Choose a focus word for this month, such as: fun, focused, intentional, results.


Make August amazing!

What is Your B Game Costing You?

Good morning! It's a great morning, and as always, I'm fired up and ready for a great day. How about you?

I'm often asked the question, "Are you always happy? Do you ever have a bad day?" The answer is no, I'm not always happy (but you wouldn't know about it) and yes, I have the occasional bad day (and you wouldn't know about them either). The reason I'm mostly always happy and my bad days don't "take me out" is because I've cracked my own personal success and attitude code, and it keeps me on my A Game, even when I don't necessarily feel like it.

This was driven home recently when a woman approached me after a meeting I had in a local coffee shop. She said she just had to stop me and talk with me ... because of how I "showed up." My energy was contagious and she felt like I was someone she needed to know. You know what happened next? She hired me! After a great second meeting, she became a new friend and a new client. Funny thing is, I was open and receptive to her because of her good energy!

That left me pondering: what are all of the opportunities I've missed because I didn't feel like putting myself in a peak state that day? (Those are numbers I frankly don't want to know!) It also made me think about why I've consistently (meaning month-over-month and year-over-year) had businesses that continue to grow and how, perhaps, my A Game has contributed. What was the root cause? How did my A Game support my vision and goals? When has my B Game (F Game?) caused me to fail in situations where I could've succeeded with some simple shifts?

The answer is your B Game costs you opportunities, situations, relationships, joy, and money. Your B Game is when you don't show up on time, fail to capitalize on opportunities, return calls or emails in a timely manner, give good but not fantastic service, wear less-than-your-best (you know what I mean), are less than your best.

Your A Game is you at your best, give your best, and expect nothing but the best. It shows up in your attitude, your results, and most prominently, your bottom line. The question is: how do you consistently turn on your A Game, even when you don't feel like it? The answer will require you to do some personal research and dig deep. It will also require you to do these things even when you don't feel like doing them.

Here are some questions to help:

• What can you do on a daily basis, first thing in the morning, to get your mind right?

• I suggest reading a great book, listening to inspiration audios, or watching an inspiring movie. Right now I'm reading Who by Smart & Street, listening to Accelerated Learning by Brian Tracy, and watching Rocky IV. Have a stack of books, visit nightingale.com for audios on all motivational subjects, and Amazon.com for every inspirational movie ever.

• Move your body. You can take up marathon training or you can just go for a walk. Either way, you're going to get the oxygen circulating, blood pumping and the energy moving. You're more likely to do good when you feel good.

• Who do you have around you (and how do they make you feel)?

•  Regardless how your boss, employees or current friends make you feel (and I hope they make you feel unbelievably great), you can begin to collect amazing people with incredible energy who, just by being around them, make you feel like you can accomplish anything.
  
• Note: Have someone in your life that doesn't make you feel that way? It might be time for them to go ... just a thought.

•  What can you do the rest of the day to set yourself up to win?

• Notice what you're eating, listening to, watching, reading, and who you're hanging out with and how they make you feel. Do they make you feel good or not so good? When I watch a movie, for example, and it makes me very sad, I don't watch that movie again. I pay attention to how each and every thing, situation and person makes me feel. I want an abundance of all things, situations and people that make me feel great. Selection in every situation is key.

Your choices in each of these areas are instrumental in how easily and effortlessly you're able to execute your A Game.  Or not. Choose wisely.

The bottom line is that you have the opportunity each day and in every moment to choose how you show up, to activate your A Game or settle for your B Game. In my opinion, the cost is too great to leave it to chance. Here's to your success!

D is for Determination

In my study of the most successful people in the world, the ones that consistently produce results far above others in their fields, all of them have a few things in common. One of their shared characteristics is determination. They are determined individuals who go after, and get, the results they want.

Good news: Determination is a characteristic you choose, it is not one you're born with. It's your constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and removes all obstacles.

Constant and determined effort comes from choice, your personal choice. You choose to be determined, and in the process you go over, under and/or around any obstacles in your way.

Here's what you need to know:
*you choose to be determined
*you can choose to be determined at any time
*your results are in direct proportion to your amount of determination

"Believe in yourself and the truth becomes clear: anything is possible!" ~Honoree

Are You Committing Mental Malpractice?

{Via}

Got attitude? Negative or positive? Yes, I'm talking about what's going on inside of your mind! I know I come back to attitude again and again, the reason is because I truly believe that the most competent, talented person will f-a-i-l without a fantastic attitude.

Mental malpractice is what the majority of people walking this planet are doing: not making a positive attitude mandatory and therefore living out the unfavorable results of their thoughts. If you don't have a fantastic attitude you simply won't have a fantastic life. That, my friend, is mental malpractice in the highest order.

What you may have realized is your attitude determined your success, and yet not taken ownership (yet) of the fact that your attitude is determined solely by you! When asked what determined their attitude, many will cite, "my family," "my circumstances," or worse, "the weather."

The consequences of negative attitude are often harsh, yet always fair and accurate. When we focus on the negative, our ability to be creative is lost. Our immune systems are compromised. It drains energy. Causes stress. Increases worry. Prolongs painful situations. Affects our ability to listen - and communicate. Need I say more?

In truth, every situation is an opportunity for growth and learning. You are the master, not the victim, of your present circumstances. Want to change what's next in your life, career, relationship? Become like a third-grader again. Put on your "positive expectation hat" and imagine of what it would look like if you had a pot full of fairy dust and a magic wand. Follow these steps to create your new and improved attitude (and stop committing mental malpractice for good!):

1. Develop a "no whining" policy. Once you've determined where you are (your "point A") focus on the strategies and solutions for getting to your end result. Stay "in solution" by focusing on how you can make it happen, versus why it may not happen, until you get your desired result.

2. Post your goals and review them at least twice a day. Use the power of your subconscious mind to effortlessly draw your desired results to you. Close your eyes and visualize your goals as if they have already been achieved. Get associated with how you will feel once you are working with those new clients or driving that new car.

3. Be grateful. Spend a few moments each day giving thanks for everyone and everything in your life that you are thankful for - when you connect with gratitude, the fear simply goes away. Adopt the belief that "every day above ground is a great day." Its true - if you're reading this, then you're still here. There's still hope and possibility for you to have, do, be and create anything and everything you truly want.

End your mental malpractice today! It all starts with a great positive attitude. Go for it!

R is for Read

Spending time to put thoughts, ideas and information into your mind leads to lots of good: good thoughts, good ideas and having good information. If you find yourself needing something great to read, here are two lists of my top picks:

My favorite 2010 reads so far:
Linchpin by Seth Godin
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
Oh Shift! by Jennifer Powers
Sway! The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior by Ori & Rom Brafman
Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty by Harvey Mackay


When you finish those, read these (as often as possible):
Go for No! by Richard Fenton & Andrea Waltz
Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill


With the iPad and Kindle, you can have all of these books at your fingertips. Happy Reading!

A is for Attitude

If I had to choose one key component for achieving the highest possible levels of success for an individual, its attitude all the way. Having a rock-solid fantastic attitude is not just necessary, it's crucial. Long before anyone knows whether you’ve got the steak (skills), they feel your sizzle – or lack of it!

As you’re navigating the daily challenges of maximizing your time, handling personnel issues, finalizing and delivering proposals, counting inventory, and closing the deal, its easy to lose hold of your outlook, feel overwhelmed and become frustrated. Here are some of the most effective ways to approach getting – and keeping – an attitude that’s going to help make your road to the top just this side of painless.

Learn from everything. The questions we ask ourselves can make or break us. When challenges hit – and they do – one power question to pose right away is: “What is the lesson for me in this situation?” Have you noticed when you don’t learn your lesson the first time, you end up the same or similar (and many times more painful) situation again? By asking that question, you can drill down what you’re supposed to learn from the situation to avoid repeating it in the future.

The second part of this learning process is putting systems in place so the lesson will automatically not repeat itself. The next question is, “What are ten ways I can make sure this never happens again?” This list is a brain-storming session that enables you to learn from the fresh wound and avoid future ones.

Example – You get in your car on the way to a client. You’re scheduled to be just on time if you leave now. As you turn the ignition, you notice the “low fuel” light is on. Rats! Now you have to take at least five minutes to gas up, leaving the possibility wide-open you will be late. I used to experience this quite a bit. Now I have my car gassed up at least once a week, and more often if I notice the gauge falls below the half-tank marker. That way, I never have to stop when I should be on my way.

Spend time identifying and addressing your “gaps” will allow you to safeguard yourself and prevent future hardship.

This too shall pass. Remember it feels the worst when you’re in the midst of the crisis. It is easy to lose perspective and give up hope. This is the best time to stay steadfast in your conviction. Keep your vision, goals and dreams vividly in your mind. Life consists of seasons, as do situations. There will come a day when the awful problem you’re having now will be a distant memory. Prepare to triumph over this situation now by remembering “this too shall pass.”

No retreat, no surrender! This is a critical mindset to adopt – preferably now when you’re not facing a crisis. Do not back down from adversity! You have it in you to face and overcome anything that comes your way. If you’re not entirely convinced this is true, think back to other times when you thought the world was coming to an end. If you’re reading this, you’re still here!

Evaluate how you will choose to move forward, keeping in mind that one super-effective choice available to you includes “bend but don’t break.” Think of trees in a storm – they gracefully accommodate natural forces while still staying strongly anchored by their foundation. Think of yourself as a tree in the face of your storms and sway in the face of difficulty while not giving in.

Half-full or half-empty? Most people possess a dual thought process: “I’m awesome” … “Maybe not so much.” There’s a tennis match that goes on in their head, an argument of will that in one moment serves them in their quest to move forward … and the next takes the wind out of their sails. Seeing the glass as half-full really isn’t the Pollyanna approach, it’s the approach that allows you to retain hope. Hope is the single most named factor when people are polled about how they survived and even thrived in the face of adversity. Keep hope alive and you’re keeping your dreams alive – and increasing your chances of goal achievement!

If its to be, its up to me. The only person who can make “it” (your vision and goals) happen is you. The only thing or person standing in the way of your success is you. By adopting this attitude, you set in motion invisible forces that will come to your aid. You also raise your vibration – and you will attract to you what you need to achieve your every desire. Staying in “possibility thinking” will keep you focused on how you can accomplish your goals. If you’re going to argue for something, argue for how you can make it happen, instead of arguing about how it just not going to happen.

Remember, you are the CEO of your life. With a jaw set with determination, a few upward shifts in your attitude and a desire to remain steadfast to the end almost guarantees your success. Go for it!

Release Your Inner Winner

One of my best girlfriend's had a birthday this past week. I promised her I would make my "world-famous" cupcakes to add to this evening's celebration. While visiting Michael's craft store I found the mold that would make what I think is the world's largest cupcake. I did what I wouldn't have done even as recently as a year ago: I bought it and used it.

For various reasons, I have always used this mantra "I don't have the Martha Stewart gene." That meant I didn't cook, bake, sew, craft or coordinate. I created inner limitations, created a story about why they were true, and held onto them for dear life. Then one day, I woke up and realized I could probably do any of the things I wanted to do, if I just put my mind to it. I also realized my stories about why I couldn't do things weren't serving me, and decided to change them.

Since then, I have cooked hundreds of new recipes and even recently released a cookbook. I've baked breads, cakes, cupcakes and about three weeks ago, I made truffles (and they were incredibly easy, I might add). I've crocheted scarves and today I made this purse for my daughter which included my first use of fabric glue.

Your Inner Winner is just waiting for a chance to help you create new levels of success. By all means, give him (or her) a chance! Notice when you're limiting yourself and make sure you're absolutely right. If you're not sure, you have an opportunity to do something new and see what happens.

Note: My attempt to make popcorn balls failed miserably. I will try again in time for Halloween. Even if you don't brilliantly succeed at each of your new ventures, you'll learn a lot about yourself a maybe even find a few new sources of joy.

Challenges, Schmallenges

What do you do in the face of a challenge? When you get bad news, or worse, you can "see" what's coming (or think you can).

Most people I know go into the "talk-about-it" / "worry-about-it" zone. They worry about it when they're not talking about it. Then they talk about it, which causes them to worry about it more. The Worry Zone is a potential death-trap and can not only paralyze you, it can stop progress being made on other projects or in other areas of your life.

The challenge with handling your challenges this way is that one tends to stay in that zone, versus getting "into the zone," which I define as being "on a roll." It is impossible to be a victor and at the same time a victim. You are either in charge of you challenge, or its in charge of you.

I can feel some of you saying, "Well, coach, you've never had my challenge." Betcha $50 I have, and I've had bigger. Try me. While you're having accounting cut me a check, try these:

Pay attention to what your focus rests on, what it keeps coming back to. If you have set powerful, excitement-inducing goals, and you consistently remind yourself of them, it is not possible to focus on your challenge.* These goals have got to be BHAGs: Big Hairy Audacious Goals. The kind that get you out of bed in the morning and keep you working late into the evening. (Note to my Type-A folks: downtime, people, downtime!) Very often, the achievement of your BHAGs will mitigate or eliminate your challenge(s) all together.

Motion creates emotion. When you sit on the couch with a 6-pack of Krispy Kremes and watch TV, you're going to feel even worse. When you sit around a table at lunch with your colleagues and co-workers and talk about how bad it is, you're going to feel even worse. When you hear someone's tough story and you try to make them feel better by telling them how bad it is for you, you're going to feel even worse. 

• Step 1: Stop talking about it. 
• Step 2: Make a list of all the things you need to do to make your BHAGs happen and get-to-movin'! When you get into motion, you create positive emotions. We are creatures that get happy when we feel like we're making progress. 
• Step 3: Talk to people who are up to big things themselves. These are the people who don't have time to talk about anything else (they might even be someone who can help you, too). Find someone who has 3 BHAGs and help them achieve them while they are helping you achieve yours.

*You will need to address your challenge, without a doubt. Pretending its not there will most likely cause it to get bigger (penalties & interest, anyone?). Address it, get the help you need from the right folks, and take the necessary action steps to eliminate, change or accept it. Then get back to your BHAGs as quickly as possible.

Note: Don't marinate in your bullshit. One effective way to address your challenge is to process it ~ meaning, talk about it with someone who will stay "in solution" with you. I'm always excited when my clients call me to talk through (vs. about) a challenge. We're quickly able to drill down the challenge to its basic essence, make an assessment for what needs to be done to solve or eliminate it (including action steps), and get them in a better frame of mind. Make sure you have someone in your corner that will listen objectively and help you to move forward in the right direction as quickly as possible.

If you are concerned you won't survive this particular challenge, you will. Don't believe me? Just look back over your life and make a list of all the times you had major challenges. If you're reading this, you're still here. You're capable of amazing things, so go for your BHAGs and let your challenges know who's the boss!

Fire Yourself Up!

There are lots of opportunities for those who have a stash of cash ("cash is king") or lots of operating capital. But if you're not a big corporation with tons of extra cash in your coffers, or a small-to-medium sized business with six to twelve months of reserves, what is your next best move?

Great news: you have lots of opportunities, too! The first thing to do is get your head screwed on right! Said another way, give yourself a massive positive attitude adjustment. You win the game of success between your ears first! Once done, you will notice the opportunities that surround you.It isn't always easy, however, to put on a happy face when those around you are still talking about how real estate is down 40% and lots of companies are laying people off. (Newsflash: Lots of companies are growing and hiring!)

Attitude help:

• Turn off CNN and turn on ESPN (or E!).
• Read something positive every day. Start here: The Power of Positive Thinking, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. Think & Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill. Cracking the Millionaire Code, Mark Victor Hansen/Robert Allen. The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz. The 4-Hour Work Week, Timothy Ferriss.
• Listen to something positive every day: Any one of the above-mentioned books is available on CD or mp3. You can also visit www.nightingale-conant.com for an unending list of positive audios to keep you motivated. I'm also loving the Everything is Energy Radio Show. You can download it on iTunes or listen here. (Hint: what you predominantly listen to really does affect you and determines in large part your success level!)
  
• Surround yourself with positive people. Step away from the gloom-and-doom predictors. They'll bring you down now and ask you for a loan later.
  
• Eat healthy food. Drink water. Exercise.
• Get your finances, estate plan and other personal documents in order.
• Refuse to participate in any down economy and commit to creating your own rockin' business!

You may not feel like it now, and that's ok. Just feel the fear, frustration and procrastination and do it anyway.

To your success!

What {Not} To Do in Business

I have a big project I'm working on (read: goal and/or obsession) which will require me to use the products and services of many people. These people stand to make some pretty coin from my purchases. As I move about the world, I am constantly sorting, sizing up and vetting the folks I meet because I might need them ~ or my clients or contacts might need them. As I've been interacting with a few of these people, they have either demonstrated "what not to do" in business or "exactly what to do." (To protect the innocent, I am going to be very general in this post. If you think I'm talking about you, I probably am.)

Rule #1: Be nice! (a.k.a. Never be rude. To anyone. Ever.) I have a seven-figure project coming up in the next few months and I will need to hire someone to help me. I met someone who looked great on paper, came with a recommendation, and seemed perfect. When I called her to suggest we get together for lunch or coffee, she said she just didn't have the time. In fact, she insulted my ladies luncheon she was invited to participate in as a guest. What's 20% of $1 million? Just checking.

Rule #2: Be nice! (a.k.a. Never be rude. To anyone. Ever.) My husband and I visited an upscale store today. We were taking pictures of the items we intended to come back and purchase. They threw us out for taking pictures. What's the general retail mark-up these days? Anyone heard anything about a recession?

Rule #3: Be nice! (a.k.a. You guessed it: Never be rude. To anyone. Ever.) I have known someone for several years I thought for sure I would use when the time was right. This person, while normally congenial, was rude and dismissive of me. I won't be using them on this project, either ... as a matter of fact, the person I found as a replacement is fantastic and I'm already really enjoying our relationship. I've already made a referral that stands to make them tens of thousands of dollars in addition to what they'll make when I press the go button.

What to think about doing instead: The new person came by with chocolate covered strawberries just to introduce themselves to me and let me know they are of service. Oh my goodness! Fantastic! Not only can I not wait to close the deal, I can't wait to refer them more business!!

Or try this: We went to Bloomingdale's today. I'm studying French and the lady selling us our stuff is from Marseilles, France. So I spoke to her in my limited and broken French. She was wonderful and gracious and told me she is there every weekend if I want to come back and practice. Now I have two reasons to go back: lots of stuff to buy and French to practice.

The moral of the post is: Be nice! Even if you are in a bad mood, are having a bad day, the dog died, and the kids are failing math, be as gracious as you possibly can. You never know when being gracious is going to help you do well by doing good.

Be Ready to Pay

I got a call a few days ago from someone who is venturing out into executive coaching. We have a mutual friend who suggested she reach out to me to ask for any advice I might have to give her. Not that I don't want to help, and I am always surprised when someone wants to know my methods, insights and strategies but doesn't offer to pay for my time. We all have a finite amount of time, and it's only polite to be aware of that before you ask for something, right?

I've had this happen a few times and I'm not only surprised, but confused. I would never call a competitor and ask them to help me compete with them. Again, not without paying their standard fee.

My mom always said, "Never ask anyone to do something for free that they do for money." You can ask your friend who is an attorney for advice on their yoga practice, and a yogini for legal advice, but be prepared to pay the yogini and the attorney for advice in their respective fields. (This advice is out the window if that person is your very best friend, and only if they are your very best friend.)

Note: depending on their schedules, these pros may offer to give you a few free nuggets. Just in case this happens, have a few quick, specific questions for them to answer. If the answer turns out to be long and complicated, send them some cash or a gift card anyway.

Work-Life Balance Is Truly Possible!

Balance is your natural way of being ... even when life is full of chaos!

Despite the worldwide quest for Work-Life Balance, very few have found an acceptable definition of the concept. Here's a proven definition that will positively impact your everyday value and balance starting today.

Let's first define what work-life balance is not.

Work-Life Balance does not mean an equal balance. Trying to schedule an equal number of hours for each of your various work and personal activities is usually unrewarding and unrealistic. Life is and should be more fluid than that.

Your best individual work-life balance will vary over time, often on a daily basis. The right balance for you today will probably be different for you tomorrow. The right balance for you when you are single will be different when you marry, or if you have children; when you start a new career versus when you are nearing retirement.

There is no perfect, one-size fits all, balance you should be striving for. The best work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives.
However, at the core of an effective work-life balance definition are two key everyday concepts that are relevant to each of us. They are daily Achievement and Enjoyment, ideas almost deceptive in their simplicity.

Engraining a fuller meaning of these two concepts takes us most of the way to defining a positive Work-Life Balance. Achievement and Enjoyment answer the big question "Why?" Why do you want a better income…a new house…the kids through college…to do a good job today…to come to work at all?

Most of us already have a good grasp on the meaning of Achievement. But let's explore the concept of Enjoyment a little more. As part of a relevant Work-Life Balance definition, enjoyment does not just mean "Ha-Ha" happiness. It means Pride, Satisfaction, Happiness, Celebration, Love, a Sense of Well Being … all the Joys of Living.

Achievement and Enjoyment are the front and back of the coin of value in life. You can't have one without the other, no more than you can have a coin with only one side. Trying to live a one sided life is why so many "Successful" people are not happy, or not nearly as happy as they should be.

You cannot get the full value from life without BOTH Achievement and Enjoyment. Focusing on Achievement and Enjoyment every day in life helps you avoid the “As Soon As Trap,” the life dulling habit of planning on getting around to the joys of life and accomplishment “as soon as….”

I'd say, "You know, I just want to achieve something today and I want to enjoy something today. And if I do both of those things today, I'm going to have a pretty good day. And if I do both of those things every day, for the rest of my life… I'm going to have a pretty good life." I think that's true for all of us. Life will deliver the value and balance we desire when we are achieving and enjoying something every single day, in all the important areas that make up our lives. As a result, a good working definition of Work-Life Balance is:

Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.

Ask yourself now, when was the last time you Achieved AND Enjoyed something at work? What about Achieved AND Enjoyed with your family; your friends? And how recently have you Achieved AND Enjoyed something just for you?

Why not take 20 minutes on the way home from work and do something just for yourself? When you get home, before you walk in the door, think about whether you want to focus on achieving or enjoying at home tonight. Then act accordingly when you do walk in the door.

At work you can create your own best Work-Life Balance by making sure you not only Achieve, but also reflect the joy of the job, and the joy of life, every day. If nobody pats you on the back today, pat yourself on the back. And help others to do the same.

When you do, when you are a person that not only gets things done, but also enjoys the doing, it attracts people to you. They want you on their team and they want to be on your team.

Simple concepts. Once you focus on them as key components of your day, they are not that hard to implement. So, make it happen, for yourself, your family and all the important individuals you care about, every day for the rest of your life.



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How to Get Everything You Really Want {Honorée}

Tall Order! is a book that gets to the point. It helps you pinpoint what is going to get you the results you want, starting right now. Jeffrey Gitomer says, "Don't let the size fool you -- this book is compact dynamite! Buy this book!"

Honorée Enterprises, LLC. turns service providers into rainmakers, average producers into rock-stars, and dreams into reality. For more information on how we can specifically help you or your organization, click here. You can read all about Honorée here.

Now What?

I have a couple of suggestions for those of you who are experiencing more fear than personal power these days.

First, move it! It is impossible to be stuck in fear when you are rolling from meeting to lunch to appointment to meeting. You'll be too busy creating the results you want to be focused on the results you haven't been getting, or a worst case scenario that could be.

Second, watch what's going in (to your mind) and coming out (of your mouth). Whatever you're focusing on is expanding. Turn off the news, walk away from conversations about "how bad it is" and (re)discover the things that get - and keep - you motivated, excited, and focused on the future you want. I'll post some ideas later in the week to get you going. Here's some food for thought ... Catherine Ponder, a Unity Minister I have studied for almost 20 years, says this, "Turn the great energy of your thinking upon ideas of plenty, and you will have plenty, regardless of what people about you are saying or doing." Now is a great time to put this into practice.

I had a conversation with a fellow coach today and three things stuck in my mind from the conversation: (a) those spouting "positivity and predicting good things" are spending some time under the bus {I can relate}, (b) there are lessons here for each of us, if we are open to them and (c) there are opportunities available, if we keep our eyes open and are willing to adjust our plans (just in case what's happening now wasn't something we saw in our crystal balls).

Reality check: what's happening is what's happening, that is the truth. How you respond or react is up to you, and will determine what story you'll be telling about it in the future.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Shift and the World Shifts With You

I started a 100-Day program with a group of professional ladies last Monday. Each Friday, they are meant to fill out a Weekly Progress Sheet. This is the sheet that helps the coach (me) coach them effectively and keeps them on track. Several of the ladies got my one-time courtesy call reminding them to do their homework. Oh, the stories they told! I didn't do my homework because ... I was in a meeting, my kids were sick, I got distracted, I'm busy doing something else, I forgot, blah blah blah.

Here's the notice: what you're experiencing in your life and business is in direction proportion to what you're making happen, allowing to happen, focusing on and creating a story about. If you have clients that aren't returning your calls, whose call haven't you returned? If you aren't getting new business, what product or service have you put off getting? Are you focusing on the possibilities or the challenges? If you're having lots of challenges, I bet $50 you're talking about those challenges, making them bigger and bigger.

The new year is one of many perfect times (along with Mondays and birthdays that end in zero) to press your reset button and decide to do something new. Get yourself organized, argue for the possibilities, take action when you'd rather update your status on Facebook, call the person you're sure is going to say no and ask for their business anyway. As you shift, the world will shift with you and rise up to meet you.

Give it a try. Watch the cool things that happen!